The Tele: Licensing & Programs

Licensing

I was surprised to discover that in order to watch TV legally in any household, one MUST have a TV License, which you must pay for and renew every year. And it costs £145.50. Say what?! So you're telling me, even though I can go and buy a TV, plug it into the wall, or even pay for digital satellite, I have to separately pay for a license just to have a TV? I don't know about you, but that seems pretty shitty to me.

According to tvlicensing.co.uk, it’s against the law to watch TV programs as they're being shown on TV without a valid license. And if you're caught without the license it's considered a criminal offense. This can lead to prosecution, a court appearance and a fine of up to £1000, not including legal costs.

Then, okay, maybe the law is old and outlandish, not even enforced anymore? No, it's just the opposite and actually quite a big deal. A random TV Licensing agent even came to one of Ashley's previous homes to check and see if they'd had a license (which they didn't). Supposedly, agencies can detect when a TV outlet is in use and if a license isn't active for that location, a little messenger is sent. That's crap!

Luckily, the boys have a license for our home, and I get to enjoy English programming, which is especially nice on all those rainy days.

Programs

Friends reruns, Fresh Prince of Bel-air reruns, America's Got Talent, Two-and-a-half Men - hmmm, this is just like America.

If it's not an American show or movie playing on TV, there's usually some version of an American show playing on TV. Instead of American Idol there's X-Factor, instead of Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader there's Are You Smarter Than a Ten Year Old?, instead of The View there's Loose Women, which I thought was particularly hilarious. In America, when a woman is loose, loose is describing her vagina more than anything, as in she sleeps around so much her vagina's loose. Here, a woman being loose, is merely a woman being independent. Ha!

And then there's the English Office (which came first, by the way), except I'm so use to the American version starring Steve Carell, that I can't help but just compare the two versions instead of enjoying the show. The English Office's humor is more dry, just so you know, and you didn't even think that was possible, right? And there's also an English version of Deal or No Deal, but instead of beautiful women with suitcases, there are hopeful contestants with bright red, glittering boxes.

Hollyoaks and Eastenders are two long-lasting soap operas that play on TV all the time. Hollyoaks being the more trendy, youthful one.

Come and Dine With Me has got to be one of my favorite original English shows. It's simply a dinner hosting competition, where four or five contestants a week have to host a dinner party for the others and then be judged on a point system. After all the contestants have hosted a dinner party, the one with the highest dinner score wins £1000. What makes the show so good is the narrator, who makes fun of everyone and everything throughout.

Another favorite show is Peep Show, which is a comedy seen alternatively through the eyes of two mid-thirties men.

Shooting Stars is a weird long-lasting comedy gameshow, where points and prizes are awarded but are meaningless. There's nothing American I can really compare it to. It's difficult to explain and at first I found it not that funny, but after seeing it a couple times, its awkwardness, stupidity and lack of direction become its best qualities.

There are tons of other shows, but I can't be assed at the moment. Anyway, too much TV rots your brains, as my mom used to say.

♡ - Kristen